MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON! It’s time to rock!

Hey folks! Tell me, do you love Super Robot Wars? If so, don’t you ever wish you can fight without the robots, and maybe do things more on a supernatural level? Demonic creatures with unknown origins, ancient vampires that can bring the world to its knees, magical beings that can reshape the plane of existence, and so much more, are in this game. What am I referring to? I am referring to the awesomeness that is Battle Moon Wars!

A game where I can use Archer and Unlimited Blade Works, and use Rider as well? SIGN ME UP MOTHER******!!!!!

Before anything, let me tell you how I got into this game: I wanted to get more into Fate/Stay Night. On Livejournal, I saw how cool the characters were and how interesting their story appeared to be. So I set out on a search to try and get into Type-Moon games and series, such as Fate/Extra. After much searching, someone managed to find me a copy on the net for me to review for free. I went into this game blind, only expecting something I would normally see in one of my SRW games. Yet none of those could 100% prepare me for what was about to happen.

You choose between Haruna, a flying girl who uses a gun and other magic to take down her enemies, all while zipping around them too to evade damage, or you take on the role of Takumi, who is essentially the Sanger Zonvolt of this game with his might sword: Futsuno. While you do still use both characters, they are both routes for this game that can lead to some different boss fights, stages, and parts of the story, so playing both sides is needed if you want to know what the other team was doing. And during that time, only a certain portion of the main cast is usable, so making sure to upgrade specific members is key in most battles more than ever.

The story is something I can barely touch upon. I remind you, this game contains the following series in it: Fate/Stay Night, Fate/Zero, Fate/hollow ataraxia, Fate/unlimited codes, Kara no Kyokai, Kagetsu Tohya, Melty Blood, and Tsukihime. And out of all of those series/games, I have not touched any of them. At best, I know about some things in Fate/Stay Night, and I do know it borrows from the Heaven’s Feel ending while trying to combine Fate and Unlimited Blade Works. Sadly, my knowledge ends there aside from what is going on in the game, and what is going on is the usual bad guys being bad guys, uniting to try and take the Holy Grail for themselves for their own personal reasons. At times, the story is just downright confusing, but that’s expected when someone who has never seen any of the series mentioned above plays this game. However, once I finally put two and two together, I did manage to find the entire experience enjoyable, as well as all of the characters. I am even now interested in viewing all of these or play the other games to see what they were doing before. Granted, most of them are in Japanese, so I am screwed there. Thank god for the anime subs and such. And aside from those characters, the game does try to throw more original characters your way, though they are small in number.

Old vanquished enemies can also pop up during stages, such as Dark Saber here and many more.

Now onto the part everyone is so curious about: gameplay. How does it hold up? Well, it is indeed similar to that of Super Robot Wars, in that you take control of characters, upgrade them with money and skill points, use spirits to give you a further advantage, equip items for quick healing or stat boosts, and attack. Attacks however are limited at number, usually at a max of four for only a few, while others can just be limited down to one to three attacks each. Each character has something interesting to bring to the table, and while some may seem incredibly weak, like Sakura, they can eventually be upgraded through the storyline to be far more useful to your party. The game also grades them in terms of usage, but you can easily ignore this. For example, the game ranked Shiki Tohno as a B-rank fighter, yet by late game, he could easily be an A with his new upgrades and skills. Others are assigned to more healing and support roles, such as lowering defenses and aim, or upgrading other characters’ stats for one turn.

Sakura may be weak early on, but at least her attack animation is somewhat funny.

However, things remain different. Yes, attack animations do sometimes take other moves from other robots in the SRW series, such as Domon and Rain’s Sekiha Tenkyoken Love Fist, or the Combattler V and Voltes V combo. But the gameplay is surprisingly a tad different when it comes to the range of attacks. Sometimes, attacks contain yellow squares that can allow an attack to be landed with the same accuracy, but does damage that is miniscule, so trying to land in the enemies yellow zone without attack from yours is a key part when dealing with enemies and bosses. Range is especially important with the characters you pick, as some, like mages, are made for long-range combat, and getting them into position, while close-range fighters should hold the enemies in place and take the brunt of the damage or attract enemy attention, be it using a fast character to avoid their attacks, or using a heavy hitter/defender to endure the assault.

Naturally, if an enemy attacks out of your range, you cannot attack right back, and are given the option to defend or dodge, and those only work with characters suited to such a task. Otherwise, you are taking a gamble. Again, Will accounts in order to pull of stronger attacks, and the characters from each of the games do have their signature attacks. So yes, Archer in this game does indeed have Unlimited Blade Works. And yes, it is beyond epic in this game as well. They are all done beautifully, with no frame rate issues, even on this crappy laptop I have. But aside from range, height is also a factor, as well as enemies that are in your way. So if there’s an enemy in front of you and you have a range maximum of two, you can only hit that enemy and not the one behind it until it is destroyed. And as for height, other enemies can rest atop trees, lamps, and even roofs, and if your range is not high enough, and if you cannot jump up to them, you cannot get to them. Thankfully, you are given long-range characters that can take care of that problem, so they are not impossible to hit.

The maximum percentage is 200%, that way you know you can avoid a small portion if you use evade...not like it will help here for Takumi.

There are a total of about 52 stages, with bonus ones depending on how many skill points you have obtained. You can gather these by fulfilling specific objectives in the stage, but you can no longer get them if you fail it and try to repeat it. But if you do end up repeating the stage, some enemies are taken out to make it easier for you to pass the stage, or are you given more time to accomplish a task, such as escape. But the more skill points you get, the harder the game gets. And the less you get, the easier the game becomes. So it’s up to you if you want to collect them, though you don’t need all of them to complete the game or gain the extra stage.

Gee, which attack is being copied here?

And honestly, there’s not much else one can say about this game. The short summary is that it is SRW, with Type-Moon characters. That’s it. And that combination works wonders, and I was able to kill many hours playing through this game. The only downside I can think of in this game is not being able to play in a small window, and you have to use your mouse to play. Not to mention everything is not translated, such as biographies. And that is a real bummer. But hey, free translation for this game! That alone is good, and combined with this, I wish it had been made for a console, any console! If you can find this game, I highly recommend it, especially if you are a Type-Moon fan. And even if you are not, you’ll get a real kick out of this game.

Final Verdict: Battle Moon Wars earns a 5 out of 5. And Werk, I thank you for making this game and making me a fan of Type-Moon! If I could help pay you for the game, I would if I had money!

And the massive amount of porn I can look for!...except for the loli in the middle. I don't like lolis.

Fate/Stay Night: now with less porn!

You might be wondering what has taken me so long with this review. Well, work mostly, but I wanted to make absolutely sure that the game was good and added some good variety. And that had taken far too long, and it even cut into my study time. Still, I beat the game twice, so I can finally weigh in on my verdict. But before you read on, keep in mind that my knowledge on Fate/Stay Night series is extremely limited. I saw maybe like three episodes of the anime, and a few pieces of story from Fate/Stay Night and its sequel. And I have also completed Battle Moon Wars, but that hasn’t helped much in understanding the world itself this game is set in, but it has gotten me familiar with some of the main characters of the series. Now for the main question: Is Fate/Extra truly glorious and worthy of the wait, or is it just another dime a dozen game on the PSP Sony wanted to chug out?

Fate/Extra, is without a doubt, my favorite PSP game, but that’s not saying a whole lot considering I haven’t played that many good games on the PSP. It is nowhere close to perfect, and there are better games on the PSP in terms of gameplay, such as Kingdom Hearts Birth By Sleep, and that is based on personal preference. But I digress. It isn’t the perfect game, but it is very enjoyable despite some flaws. Fate/Extra takes place in an alternate future from the Fate/Stay Night universe, or the actual future if anything; the timeline in this series can be very confusing. As such, not a whole lot of the old cast actually appears. This game is meant to be a standalone title, with only mentions and cameos by the originals, such as Lancer and Archer. There are other characters one may recognize, but most are either NPCs in the actual war, like Sakura Matou, or actual descendants, like the Rin in this game.

Yeah, you see everyone here? Only two made it in this game.

The world is, for a lack of a better term, screwed. The wars and such have did quite a number, and in order to save it, Magi have decided to have the war for the Holy Grail, the one thing that can grant any single wish to a Master, at the Moon Cell via the matri—I mean Moon Cell network. Really though, I don’t see much of a difference. Over 128 Magi are chosen to fight in a tournament elimination style combat, where each Master is given a whole week to train and find information about their opponent. Information is key to this war, as you’ll need it to predict enemy moves a lot quicker, and make sure to avoid suffering the full brunt of their Noble Phantasms. In this game, you take control of an amnesiac who had entered the war by mistake in their mind. You can choose either a boy and a girl, as well as a Servant. Here, your Servants to choose from are Saber, who is practically the opposite of the female blue Saber everyone is familiar with in Fate/Stay Night despite looking exactly like here, Archer, who is the exact same archer from the same series, and Caster, a magical fox girl that is brand new to the series, much like the new red Saber. And together, you must rediscover your memories, take down all the enemy masters, and win the Holy Grail.

After dealing with the prologue, the game can actually begin. And from there, you can choose your Servant and character gender, as well as the difficult modes, which are sadly limited to normal and easy for hardcore fans. However, choosing your Servant is also a bit based on difficulty as well, for each Servant has a specialty. For Saber, it’s pure brute assault, as upgrading attack and predicting enemy attacks can easily win most battles. For Archer, he is kind of the same, though he is more focused with techniques and a bit more strategy, thus making him more of a standard difficulty and flexibility. And then there’s Caster, the mage of the group, and the weakest unless her magic is upgraded to higher levels, and her stat boosts are extremely poor, making her the hard mode.

Well no matter what, I still love Caster!

And before you say anything, yes, choosing your Servant does affect the story, but only in dialogue. For example, Caster will constantly flirt with you, wishing to be a good wife, while Archer can point out and compare things between both Fate games. But sadly, that’s about it. Foes will only change when you take different character routes, with saving Rin allowing you to face two new Type-moon enemies, while saving Rani will result in fighting two original Type-moon characters, and among those actually includes Arcuied from another series. And speaking of those series, there are actually some more cameos from other Type-Moon games. As such, while the endings aren’t too different, it’s more based on character preference and their own story line.

But there is something one should know about the story presentation. There isn’t a whole lot of animation of the characters moving. Rather, everything is told from in a narration from your character; yay for not being silent protagonist for once! Since Fate/Stay Night is a visual novel, it’s nearly told in the same sense, as the character models don’t move that much save for in combat. Some may consider this a weakness, but from a prose perspective, it is done very well, save for a few minor translation errors. And it does help with the overall gameplay, as there is rarely, if any slow framerate. Plus not having to install this onto the memory card is definitely a plus. Also, there are no English voices, instead keeping with the original Japanese cast. Technically, I have no problem with this, as some games unfortunately earn atrocious English VA’s sometimes that can make a game downright unplayable. The only real problem I would have is that there are no subtitles during battle, as conversations do happen during then.

While on school campus, your options are very limited. Usually, it’s just information gathering and retrieving items for a certain teacher, but you can also go to your room and chat with your Servant for interesting conversations about them. For the most part, this helps with characterization and such, and made me grow more attached to my Servant. You can also gather items to decorate your room as well, giving more of an appeal to your eyes. But it doesn’t change the fact that things are limited. Dialogue is important though, and choosing the wrong actions can actually lead to a game over, such as when fighting Archer and you choose to go the wrong way, thus leading to an instant kill by him.

And make sure to talk to the NPCs with the YELLOW boxes above them.

On the other hand is the Arena, which you can fight and level up, though not save, but that isn’t a problem unless you both suck and can’t know how to use the PSP’s standby function. Events go on in the Arena at times, but you must also keep an eye out for important items and Cipher keys which are necessary in facing your opponent in the final day of the week. Don’t have them, you cannot fight, and that results in game over. You can technically reset the entire week, but that is a bad idea considering if you power-leveled before then, your level will be reduced back down to the first day.

As for the gameplay, it revolves around the standard rock-paper-scissors, with attackàbreakàguard and so on. Unfortunately, you have a 1 in 4 chance to guess each panel correctly, and I say that because of the fourth factor in this game: skills. Skills, with the exception of boosting and defense skills, all surpass any of the commands save for another offense skill. As such, these can be great tide turners as you try and figure out the enemies pattern. And should either of you have both break/attack, you will either hit each other for 0 damage in a clash, or do full damage to each other in a simultaneous attack. And here’s where the Extra in Fate/Extra comes in.

However, your Servant isn’t the only one that can fight, as you fight as well using items and spells to turn the tide. But these are limited only to once per turn, so planning ahead is essential. You are given two slots for Formal Wear, which add extra MP and a new skill, but as you expect, you are limited to two skills at most. Should your Servant score three hits in a row without the interruption of a skill, you can pull off an additional physical blow, finish your enemy off that much quicker.

And if you can do that much damage in the game...good for you. o-o

And in order to do all of this, as you level up, only you skill points, HP, MP, and Master MP increases. You make use of skill points at the Chapel, where the Aozaki sisters use them for alterations. The more points you put in, the higher ranking your stats can become and you learn new techniques. Fail to do this correctly and you might as well call it quits for this game, as some stats are downright useless, so don’t pour your points separately into each stat. The good news about enemies is that if you beat them over and over again, you can actually gain the hints and then the actual enemy pattern, though that takes quite a while.

Dear Penthouse: jackpot!

Okay Type-Moon fans, you have wanted to hear this for awhile now: can you use Noble Phantasms, which to other people, are basically a Servant’s finishing/special move. The answer is both no and yes. You cannot use it right off the bat, and they do give a reasonable explanation: identity. See, revealing a Servant’s identity is a grave disadvantage, as your enemies can predict your moves far more easily. As such, you cannot use a Noble Phantasm until during the last of the 5^th week. But when you do, my god, it makes the entire game, that little moment, worth it. While I wasn’t too fond of Caster’s Noble Phantasm, both Saber and Archer’s completely change the battlefield and give you an incredible advantage, all while the music changes. This was especially great when I was on the ropes, limited chance of winning a fight. And right when I unleashed the Noble Phantasm, it felt glorious and worth all of that grinding to get to that point.

...It's so beautiful and deadly!

But this brings me to some of the bad points. The environments you go to in the arena are all underwater, save for maybe the last two, and the first areas you always go into before going to the second floor. No, those represent rejected levels from Tron. And the enemy types aren’t all that amazing. You get some rather basic design, and I was hoping for more along the lines of maybe more demonic creatures, not something that reminded me of Space Invaders or Megaman EXE. And that also brings me to another note this game fails at: relationships. You have limited to no control over this. People compared this to Persona 3, but it isn’t anything like it despite the school. Everything feels a bit forced, and while I do enjoy the story, having the freedom to choose it is nice, and this game doesn’t give me that luxury. And this can be even more frustrating if you are homophobic, as there are hints of the female main character liking the other girls or their female Servants. Just keep in mind that I am not homophobic, and this was one of the better parts of the game, if only because I’m a perv. Still, it kinda made me feel like a manwhore, so that wasn’t cool. Family issues tend to do that.

Yes, you face mighty enemies like...a bee? Really?...SCARY!

And another issue is the Matrix information. You see, throughout the week, you have to gain information on your opponent, and this usually means either beating them at a game, talking to other characters, etc. And without that stuff, you are in for one heck of a disadvantage in future battles. It’s easy enough to get an E-Matrix for everyone, but that’s the problem. Rather than dig through books, it’s done in such a linear fashion, it’s not really that much investigating like it should have been, thus making it boring to do. And of course if you don’t do this, or screw up, these can lead to dead ends in the game, meaning you have to restart from another save point. In fact, it’s recommended you have multiple saves, because if you are terrible like me, you are going to need them. Though even then, I didn’t even need them that much.

Aside from that, nothing else comes to mind, save for maybe wishing for more playable Servants, like Rider (Medusa) for this game. Again, these are problems you may ignore or take personally. Considering everything stated above, I managed to last through the game for about 30-50 hours with each playthrough, however, that was in part mostly with grinding and over-leveling my characters. If you really are a gaming junky, you can even finish this game in three days tops. But despite all that, I had a great time and am looking forward to the sequel that will come out.

Yes, and you can see why I like sequel. The one on the left, and the one the right...for both of them.

Fate/Extra gets a 4 out of 5. And with this game under my belt, hopefully I can retain my sanity when I talk about the next game on the list. It’s…not gonna be pretty.

Update – 12/17

Hey everyone! I’m sure you have all noticed my lack of activity as of late, but never fear, for I am finally back in action! At least so long as SOPA doesn’t pass maybe. But anyway, finals at Temple had caught up with me, and I needed to bring my A-game in order to pass my classes. I don’t think I did so well to be honest, but rather than bore you with a story you would never find interesting, I shall explain my plans.

I shall be updating the blog to make it more Facebook and Twitter friendly for notifs with the help of my new man-slave, Mr. Falvador! Rather than me using the site, I’ll be bossing him around to give updates for the blog for more people to follow. He will also be dealing with any and all Capcom reviews from now on, though that doesn’t mean he’ll be buying the newer ones, unless they are given to him or me.

Next, expect a slew of reviews. One of them is Fate/Extra for the PSP coming soon, while the rest will be mainly older games and comparisons as well. So about 5 extra reviews will be put up with any luck. I wanted to do some Xbox 360 reviews, but unfortunately, it has passed on to the great beyond, where dead nerds shall play it until it breaks again. While it won’t stop my comparison of FFXIII vs The Last Remnant on the PC, it has halted every other 360 game that I have not previously written a review for. Still, I do have a Wii as a replacement until I can get a new 360, and I have a DS, PSP, and PS2, so more reviews are definitely guaranteed.

And that folks, is that. Again, sorry it took so long, but within any luck, the reviews will start pouring in either later tonight or tomorrow, depending on the mood I am in for writing.

Censoring the Internet…what the ******* hell!?

Do I even need to discuss this? Well, in the event I do, thankfully the Nostalgia Critic did it for me. I’m not going to bother repeating every word he says, so you may as well take my word for it when I say that the Internet may be censored, and my future dream job is now a lost ******* cause at this rate. Like hell I am going to put in all my effort to write those reviews and dream to be like someone like Angry Joe or Nostalgia Critic go down the drain!

http://thatguywiththeglasses.com/videolinks/thatguywiththeglasses/nostalgia-critic/33243-top-11-reasons-he-wont-review-digimon

If you are smart, you will support this and fight the power! OUR VOICES SHALL NOT BE SILENT!

Rise of the Imperfects DS review: Even the game knows it stinks!

Years ago, comic fans were overjoyed at the prospect of having some of their favorite heroes and villains go up against a new super villain team known as the Imperfects. This game has been released on every console, even the PSP and DS, and also spawned a 6-issue series based on the game to help provide some hype for the game. Unfortunately, while I cannot speak for the comic’s behalf, the games themselves were terrible. The home console versions were slow, clunky, and the story also upset some fans as they watched their favorite characters lose to characters they shouldn’t, and even killed! But just when you think it could not get any worse, there are the DS and PSP versions. While I didn’t play the PSP version, I did try to play the DS version, they keyword being try.

I have played horrible games before, even the console versions of this game, but nothing could ever prepare me for the terror that this game is on the DS. Spider-man Edge of Time? That was horrible and horrendous, but this game…oh my f****** god, this is the worst, the absolute worst game I have ever played in my entire flipping life! The only good thing about the game is the menu, which does nicely detail the characters into a mix of cartoons and colorful visuals, a absolute opposite compared to the dark and gritty visuals of the home console versions. Sadly, everything else in this game is epic fail. While others are spared the pain of seeing their favorites “die” in the story, there is absolutely nothing to the story. There is only a bit of dialogue and two different endings, one for the marvel cast and one for the Imperfects, leaving this nothing more than the simpliest of arcade games. Sadly, a simple arcade game would be better if the controls weren’t the worst I have ever experienced.

Gameplay revolves in a one-on-one fight with either an Imperfect or a Marvel character, with destructible environments. Again, the graphics are poor and a bit blocky, and there is no detail of the destruction caused by any characters. And movement is unbelievably hard, and you will find that hitting your opponent will be the hardest task you have in this game. But losing may not be such a difficult task because of two reasons. One, the AI in this game is absolute garbage, and will only fight back when it feels like it. And two, enemies can be stuck in an endless loop of combos, thus guaranteeing victory so long as you don’t mess anything up. Then again, one has to question who on Earth would play this brain tumor of a video game!? Then why did I play it? I’m an idiot!

With horrendous visuals, poorly done combat, and a story that is nonexistent, it makes me feel as if the game developers just did not care. Aside from the menu artwork, there is no effort in this game, as if it was done in a week and without any care in the world. This has to be the worst game I have ever played, and I forced myself to suffer through other games such as the other Rise of the Imperfect games and many other titles. For this head bash into my skull, Marvel Nemesis Rise of the Imperfects gains my first ever 1 out of 5, an epic failure, on every level. The console versions made me shake my head and sigh heavily at what was going on, but this game literally comes out of the screen and deals that cold slap to my face.

Games I never finished: Spider-Man Edge of Time for the Nintendo DS. Spoilers: IT SUCKS!

Thirty minutes…that was all it took for me to realize how much of a colossal fail this video game is. I mean okay, the console version seems to be debatable in terms of enjoyment, but if there’s anything any critic should agree on, it’s that this game is absolutely horrendous! I thought that maybe since Shattered Dimensions on the DS was slightly entertaining, and Web of Shadows was pretty good save for being short, that maybe, just maybe, this game could be awesome! I was so f****** wrong, that it’s both sad and—No. Just bad. That’s all. It has to be the worst game I have ever played on the DS. How bad is it? I’d rather play Orphen Scion of Sorcery. That is the level of crap you will be dealing with in this game. No, no. Not just that, but if you can wrap your head around it, this game is WORSE than X-Men Destiny for the DS. Allow those facts to settle in before continuing.

But you want to know what’s wrong, don’t you? Well even if not, your eyes are glued to this site, so I might as well just tell you what is so abysmally horrific about this embarrassment of a game. And before anyone dares to say that I am not a Spider-Man fan, I’ll have you know that he is indeed my favorite, not just one favorite, I mean THE favorite Marvel superhero of all time. Not even Captain America or Wolverine can top my love for this character, though Wolverine does come at an extremely close second. Point is I loved everything about the Spider-Man series, save for Spider-Man 3 and a handful of crap games. But that’s a topic for another day.

However, before I get to the bad, allow me to get to the good of how much stuff I was able to uncover in 30 minutes. The voice acting for the game thankfully is good, with the voice of the Spider-Man from the cartoon in 1994 returning at long last as the voice of Spider-Man 2099. This little bit of fan service made my expectations higher for this game, a foolish, FOOLISH, thing to do. Another good thing is the character portraits, which look nicely, though not perfect, but hey, they are the best animation in this hunk of crap. Plus, rather than get a limited amount of villains like in Edge of Time console versions, there are more variety of villains, like Menace, Rhino, Overdrive 2099, and much more, though I am going by the wiki for the others.

Oddly enough, I never even seen Anti-Venom during my first thirty minutes, and yet I met Sloan, the villain Miguel/Spider-Man 2099 is after, instead replaced by Rhino. And it’s all downhill—no, it was downhill the moment I popped this game in and saw the visuals. Okay, Web of Shadows and Shattered Dimensions weren’t great to look at, but they were far from atrocious. But when a GBA game looks far better, and even plays better than this hunk of indescribable garbage, something is wrong. But visuals aren’t everything, right? Well I don’t normally mention graphics in my reviews anymore because the level of graphics today in games, and it can just be average, especially if there are no frame rate issues. Here, the amount of frames dropping was ridiculous, and it completely kills the gameplay!

Okay, okay, I lied…the gameplay was already dead before all of these issues! Remember how the other two Spidey games encouraged combos, jumping around and using your webs in inventive ways in combat, both defensive and offensively? Well, someone told the developers to shove those games right in the shredder, because the controls are horrendous. Spider-Man’s range is extremely short, hit detection can sometimes be difficult, you cannot web up enemies and only toss them, and your combos are extremely limited. I don’t feel like Spider-Man in this game. I felt more like Spider-Man in the Captain America game for the DS for crying out loud! Blasphemy, I know, but it’s the truth! When you make a game that makes even games like Maximum Carnage and Separation Anxiety more like real Spider-Man games, something is horribly, horribly, HORRIBLY wrong!

How about boss fights? Surely they can be entertaining, right? Oh you poor sap, you should know by now when gameplay is screwed, so are the boss fights. How so? Bosses far too difficult? Quite the opposite actually. I maybe got hit like 3 times at most, and the normal enemies and the annoying flying robots that will always hit you actually were far more difficult. How? Well, the pattern of the bosses is extremely easy to figure out: they charge towards you, jump. That’s it. Aside from that, when they fly away or try to shoot you, you just got to run behind them, or even in front, and the odds of them hitting you are absurdly slim. As such, it is boring.

There are at least differences between the two Spider-Men; I’ll admit that, but not enough to make this entertaining, especially when you have to navigate an absurdly horrible map system. You can get upgrades in the environments and markers on map, but good luck trying to find your way around it, because it is too horrendous and close up to your face, you will not know where you are going. I once even stupidly went in an entire circle thanks to it! You hate maps like Castlevania? Well at least you can see everything there! Here, I don’t know where I am going. Plus there are glitches, like when I didn’t know how to pass a blue wall, yet somehow, I crawled through an opening that I couldn’t even see. Want more? Try robots CLIMBING THE AIR! What more do you need when the robots can climb the air, not fly, CLIMB!

Just…I just wanted to relax and play a good, cheap game. Instead, I get tortured and am very hesitant in even trying the console version. Developers, just because you focus on the main consoles don’t mean you should ignore the little ones. If you can’t even make it good, then do not even bother and force reviewers like me to play this piece of ****, torture themselves, and make them hesitant to play anything with the Spider-Man name on it. This is inexcusable, especially when there Spider-Man games years ago that are ten times superior to this title.

Let this be a Demotivation poster: DEVELOPERS - Learn how to make a f****** Spider-Man game right!

Thirty minutes…No, I pretty much gave it enough to be a review! At least Orphen had more content and I could play two hours before quitting. You want a score? 1 out of 5 and that’s only because I can’t give it a 0 or a negative number! And the real sad part is that the number of pictures I could find for this game were absolutely miniscule, and I’d rather not use pictures IGN picked up.

Castlevania without fighting Dracula? BLASPHEMY!…Or is it!?

Oh look, I get to review a Capcom game for a change! Okay, if you read my rant article about Capcom screwing gamers everywhere in Marvel vs. Capcom 3 and Devil May Cry, you may recall that I would not buy another one of their products, or review them unless it is already in my possession or given to me to review. Well, I just counted my stash of games, and it turns out that I own quite a lot of Capcom games. Are they any good and worth the effort in finding them? Maybe. Maybe not. Gotta play them all to see if I did the right thing in buying and finding these games long ago, so let’s take a look in the past when Capcom was actually good!

Castlevania Aria of Sorrow is another entry into the Castlevania series, but this time for the Gameboy Advance. Originally, I could not get this to play on my old GBA because of how dark the screen was, and the only GBA at the time that could allow me to see was either the mini GBA, or the GBA-SP, both of which I never bought. But when I finally got a Nintendo DS, it was able to finally allow me to play the game in bright color fury. With that, I could finally manage to kick ass….save for the fact I suck at Castlevania.

Different souls allow for special abilities, like being Jesus walking on water and shooting laser beams!....Wait...

But there is something different about this Castlevania. The basic plot of every Castlevania had been simple: go through Dracula’s castle, fight against his minions that include giants and a Grim Reaper, and then face off against Dracula in one final battle. The difference here is that Dracula isn’t actually the main villain, and over the course of the game, you find out what happened to him in the year 2034. And really, it shouldn’t be that hard to figure out who is Dracula. I’m just surprised the advances in technology haven’t created cooler weapons, but hey, there is actually a gun in this game, though I found that in the castle; I guess Dracula wanted paperboys away from his home, and skeletons weren’t scary enough.

You take the role of Soma Cruz, who had been drawn to the castle as it emerges. Soon, he finds out he has the power of dominance, the ability to collect souls of the monsters within Dracula’s castle and use their power for his own, whether it’s something simple to throwing magic axes, to stopping time, to even transforming into different creatures or summoning them to aid you in combat. As you journey throughout the castle, you soon start to meet other people who are here to investigate the castle, even Julius Belmont, who has appeared to lost his memory and is searching for the Vampire Killer, a whip made to kill Dracula with great effect. And as with all Castlevania games, you must search the castle thoroughly for clues, and finding those clues can help you find the true ending. And ignoring these can tend to get a less than satisfying and grim ending.

Sheesh, how many times can people get hit by the amnesia fairy?

Gameplay remains generally the same as any other Castlevania, but Soma has to take advantage of every soul he gathers. Each one is unique, giving their own special ability or better stats. Some also are needed for further exploration of the castle, getting to the next boss or getting good items or additional souls. Though if you wish for some souls, expect to stay in a spot and move room to room killing enemies again and again in order to get their souls. RPG elements are present, as you can level up Soma and give him equipment such as armor and accessories, but weapons on the other hand are a bit different. As explained earlier, there is a gun in this game for long-range combat, but most weapons are close range and each have their own specialties against opponents. You have basic swords for quick slashes, greatswords for heavier and arch cuts, axes for slower but stronger hits, spears for added reach, and hammers which kinda have a combination of axe and greatsword elements, though you will most likely stick with normal swords. There are also knives and fist type weapons, but you’ll most likely never use them due to their low attack scores.

Boss battles remain generally the same as always, and some boss battles are just previews of future enemies you may encounter, which will just go down in like three hits by the time you level up later in the game. And after each boss, you can recover health and MP by catching the orb that drops above you. But there are variations in the bosses that does keep things a bit fresh and force you to stay on your toes. The only downside here is that there is little to no plot with them, even Death, who is a central bad guy when Dracula is involved. And considering who Dracula is in this game, it’s a shame you don’t get to see that kind of dialogue take place. Instead, we get a mysterious man in white that is honestly kind of boring. Of all this things this game has a problem with, is trying to build some character emotion till at least the very end. The most I could really feel between characters was Soma and Mina, as well as, again, the final moment of the game. But even that was pulled down with a disappointing final fight.

Another thing that's good is the way the areas are drawn and created, allowing for some interesting scenery as always.

And there’s really nothing else to the game. Even with the grinding, I managed to complete the game in about 10-12 hours, kinda short, but I never noticed with all the grinding I had been doing to level up, gain souls, and finding new areas to explore. Despite a slightly weak story with some weak characters, the remainder of the cast is interesting, gameplay is fun by GBA standards, and is certainly more entertaining than Harmony of Dissonance when compared to that game. And sadly, I can’t review that game since I sold it long ago. But for the most part, if you still kept your DS like any sane person, Aria of Sorrow is a fun little distraction that should be a welcome addition to your collection. Just don’t overpay for the game if you ever find it online.

It was hard score to give, but Castlevania Aria of Sorrow earns a 4 out of 5 by today’s standards, especially if you can find it for a very cheap price. Whatever you do though, do not play this game on a GBA with no inner light function like in the DS. Don’t, and you’ll probably get the darkest game in your entire collection.